Fimbulvetr
Duncan Ringill

Mittani may have evolved as far beyond actually logging into EVE as the rest of us have beyond ants, but here he is offering a view from his altitude of the NPE that matches up well with the experiences of mere immortals: namely, that EVE’s NPE sucks and always has.  With entertaining hyperbole (the tutorials aren’t really bad IMO; they just need a lot more context), he even makes his case clearly and convincingly.  Only Nixon can go to China, it seems.

A newbie zone, huh?  Yeah, it’s a no-brainer and an old one at that, but perhaps only the man who indirectly put the T in HTFU can come right out and say it on his website, and now that he has, gunfighters from all over CFC can begin to admit to seeing wisdom in the idea.  A good scheme doesn’t become bad just because CFC wants it, after all.  Any jerk can float an opinion, and I’ll be no exception, doggone it.

He may still be thinking too small.  He’s careful only to propose setting aside a chunk of that mysterious new space, and to bar any but new players from it, so that CCP would do all the hand-holding there (and so that naysayers can’t accuse him of wanting to make hisec safer).  Such economy is to be admired, as would be any clever EVE propagandists who stood waiting just outside the zone to recruit the new and presumably more skilled and confident class of capsuleers.  If Jove-space is furthermore only going to connect to low (rumored), Mittani’s proposal makes even more sense for CFC.

Can CCP unbend, though, and scrape together the resources to make something like this happen?  Even the coldest, harshest heart on staff ought to be warming to the thought right about now.  Why not design a universe where fewer players quit in frustration in the first month?  Why not prep those same players a little more thoroughly for corporate play and the sort of social experience CCP says it wants?

A Mittani as a player of the larger game necessarily sees new capsuleers as a crop to be harvested.  It’s not surprising that he would advocate for carefully-tended fields surrounded by the tallest of fences, watered by the gentlest of killmails and fertilized with ISK or ship replacements, all paid for by CCP.  What megacorp doesn’t dream of subsidies, and won’t lobby for them?  In retrospect, we should be surprised only that it’s taken this long.

Me, I’ll still advocate for perfect-sec systems in existing 1.0 and perhaps elsewhere, connected to minor trade hubs.  There’s no need to tie up the new space when the game begins here in high…unless CCP really does want to nudge everyone toward low and null.  If that’s the case, I would happily share.  Let n00b-space connect to all five other types (holla at my w-space peeps), so that the adventurous player fresh out of the tutorials can easily move in any of those directions when the training wheels come off.  Mittani has spoken, and I agree.

Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.